Do you ever get the feeling that you aren’t coping? that you’re overwhelmed, feeling like you have no real grip on things? Im currently experiencing just that.
It has become apparent to me that with ambition comes effort and when the amount of work that your ambition creates exceeds the amount of hours in any one day thats when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, theres no science to it, its a very logical equation, one that i need to change to produce a different result.
Im about to coach myself in-front of you on the subject of Time Management, you might want to stick around, it could be helpful?
Firstly we need to identify the ‘workload’ Mine on a daily basis looks a little like this;
Father of two boys who just happen to be on school holidays
This Morning Presenting/Expert Work
Varies from week to week.
Comecoachwithme.com business development, creating opportunities for my team of coaches, counsellors and psychotherapists.
Hours of emailing, writing and planning per day
My own personal Life coaching practice.
Sessions per week vary from 5 to 15 hours.
Transitioning from one area to another on the move.
Where, how much, when, how, schools, accessibility to work etc
Time for my partner that doesn’t involve talking about work or the move is in short supply at the current time.
Writing things down makes it instantly clear that I’m simply doing too much.
I didn’t acknowledge change, in fact i pretty much denied its existence and carried on adding to my work load as if I’m some kind of superhero that can physically and mentally handle anything.
Confidence and positivity are so admirable and i wouldn’t have it any other way, but when a slight air of reckless abandonment for whats humanly possible creeps in and you begin to heap unrealistic expectations on yourself, well its like spending more money than you have savings, before long your going to get in debt.
Setting unrealistic expectations leads to a feeling of failure on a daily basis, after feeling like you failed over the course of months will leave you forming some very negative limiting beliefs which can stick in place shaping your life for many years
So be careful of your expectations! Making them realistic will only lead to success and achievement which form positive beliefs which form confidence and esteem.
So start again and bite off less or at least as much as you can chew!
Back to the self coaching, how do i improve the situation?
Of the factors that make up the workload, are any of them temporary?
Of course when the boys go back to school next Monday, its going to free up a lot of time that will no doubt allow me to be more in control of all of the other areas.
Did i acknowledge the fact that the kids were not at school by slimming down my workload? Not a chance, i actually increased it! But instead of working day times when i wanted to be with them, i took to working through the evenings which result in me feeling oversubscribed because i wasn’t switching off!
Next Question.. How do i ensure i get the balance right between everything else when the kids go back to school?
I have to set myself new rules that do acknowledge the increased amount of work and give me the chance to succeed at being on top of everything on a daily basis instead of set myself up for going to bed with the nagging feeling of being behind all the time.
I also need to accept that instigating a move of house, whilst running a business, staying dedicated to my personal clients and being a father and boyfriend are likely cause stress so i should stop the feeling of disappointment i have with myself because its incredible how much Im managing to juggle!
However, life’s not a competition of who can juggle the most! Life’s about being happy and being fulfilled at work but also having a sense of recreation and fun in all you do when work should be parked while leisure ensues.
So…. my Rules for a better work/life balance
1 I can only work from 6am to 4pm (breaking to get the boys up and to school) with a one hour allowance in the evening if something is on a deadline.
This doesn’t include This Morning or other TV work duties.
2 I have to give the children my undivided attention from 4-6pm homework, play, making food together.
3 I have to simplify my business ambitions. Earn less and uphold a consistent service to my coaches instead of attempting 5 different schemes at once. Let things develop at a slower more manageable pace.
4 Reduce the amount of personal coaching clients i have so i don’t have to feel like i’m letting any of them down by being unavailable.
5 Take on an au pair to reduce the pressure to be home from work by the time school finishes. Well worth £70 a week. Worked well in the past, its been harder this past year without one.
6 Have a date night every week to keep the relationship as purposeful as it always has been.
7 Have guests over for dinner once a week, i love cooking, i love having friends over yet its always the first habit to disappear when things get real.
8 Exercise. Its another that gets forgotten but the difference in me when Im exercising 4-5 times a week is very telling.
These rules will enable me to regain control. control over the pace I’m allowing my life to run at. What use is all of the mini-successes if i don’t slow down to enjoy them? What really matters more than time spent with the people that make us happy doing the things we enjoy?
I always told everyone we work to live and not the other way round. I just needed reminding and i think we all need a moment of mindfulness every now and again to regulate life.
Acknowledging change allows us to be more realistic and expect the right things of ourselves and others. If circumstances change but expectations remain the same, we’ve set ourselves a difficult target to hit. By reducing my expectations of myself, i feel like Im freeing myself of unnecessary pressure and granting myself time to feel relaxed and therefore the opportunity to be at my best.
Time management issues effect us all, we grow increasingly busy as a society, as parents, as people and if we don’t manage our time and our expectations we are just creating our own problems.
I hope this is in some way helpful to you? The following coaches will give you a free taster 30 minute session on the subject of time management so take advantage of the offer before they become too busy with people that do react leaving you to miss your chance.
After all, these coaches all have their own time to manage too right?!